You're very welcome. Though you should reserve the right to look elsewhere, if you find it frustrating. I've never taught a language before Captain Baudin asked, but I am happy to do what I can. Common phrases shouldn't be too difficult, even with my limited skill.
And I suppose ... I know I still owe you a more detailed explanation of my thoughts on the Templar Order, sometime. Perhaps we could combine that with a lesson, one day, if you're still interested.
[A part of him very much would have preferred not to raise it, but it feels cowardly to pretend he has forgotten just because it is a bit awkward. It isn't as if he could have construed her earlier interest as other than genuine.]
Between the two of us I'm sure we'll manage fine. [ at least she sounds entirely confident of itโwhatever his deficits as a teacher, she can make up for with her prowess as a student.
reading people, their emotions and intentions, is more difficult over the crystal. the voice gives away only a piece of the puzzle, and ness is accustomed to having more than just the outer edges to work with when trying to divine the whole. still, there are tells: hesitations, breaths, speed. little things that all tell the story of one's true feelings, if they aren't given to hiding them. ]
We don't have to, if you'd prefer to leave it in the past.
[ imagine you left a thing, whatever your reasons, and people still only saw that thing when they looked at you. imagine how much that would grate, what an albatross that would be to carry. ]
You can just be Professor Orlov to me, if you like.
[ her smile is audible as she suggests itโit's a bit of a jokeโbut she's sincere, too, just as sincere as she was in her initial curiosity about his thoughts. ]
That's kind of you. I do appreciate it. But I don't mind, if you still want to hear. I only hesitated, I suppose, because it can be complicated. And I don't want to suggest your own opinions aren't yours to form as you see fit. Mine are shaped by my particular experiences, as well.
In your place, though, I suppose I would want to know more about the world I found myself in. It is a natural impulse to follow.
[ she pauses, considers, tests his words for hidden meanings or trap doors. after a moment, she hums, and drops her eyes to her hands, picking at a hangnail while she speaks. ]
I would still like to hear your perspective, Messere, very much so. But I can't shake the sensation that to press you to explain yourself now would be doing you an unkindness. You are...
[ here she fumbles for the right words, skin torn too far and now she's bleeding. ]
I'd prefer to hear it as a friend, not some anthropological venture. Your history is real, and personal, not a, a... teaching exercise. You aren't the only former templar in the world; you don't owe it to me. [ a huff, as she presses thumb to cuticle to stop the bleeding and lifts her eyes to the ceiling. ] Am I even making sense?
I do want to hear what you have to say, Messere. But only when you really want to share it with me, not when you feel it an obligation.
Your concern for me is kind, and I take it in the spirit it is meant. But also ... I can want to do a thing and still find it difficult. You do make sense, and your consideration speaks well of you. But it is also ... I think I would like the chance to lay it out, sometime. When I am well-prepared. It is a topic I have given a great deal of thought, but little conversation, overall.
[A small pause.]
I think perhaps it would be helpful. To try to express my thoughts to someone who simply wants to know without a further agenda beyond the desire to understand.
[ "helpful" is the word to use; ness immediately sits taller to hear it, drawn back out of herself at the prospect of being of use. ]
I would like that very much. To be of help to you, I mean, and to understand, as much as I am able.
[ it occurs to her to worry that her concern has come off wrong, infantilizing and condescending rather than considerate, but as in the crossroads, vanya's straightforward affect dulls the anxiety. whether her words could be taken amiss or not, he's chosen to receive them according to her intent, and fretting further over them would be pointless.
(that will not stop her fretting entirely. dulled is not dismissed. but it is a start.) ]
As for lessons, my evenings are free to start whenever you wishโeven tonight, should you have the time on such short notice. Otherwise, I will fit my schedule to yours!
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no subject
And I suppose ... I know I still owe you a more detailed explanation of my thoughts on the Templar Order, sometime. Perhaps we could combine that with a lesson, one day, if you're still interested.
[A part of him very much would have preferred not to raise it, but it feels cowardly to pretend he has forgotten just because it is a bit awkward. It isn't as if he could have construed her earlier interest as other than genuine.]
no subject
reading people, their emotions and intentions, is more difficult over the crystal. the voice gives away only a piece of the puzzle, and ness is accustomed to having more than just the outer edges to work with when trying to divine the whole. still, there are tells: hesitations, breaths, speed. little things that all tell the story of one's true feelings, if they aren't given to hiding them. ]
We don't have to, if you'd prefer to leave it in the past.
[ imagine you left a thing, whatever your reasons, and people still only saw that thing when they looked at you. imagine how much that would grate, what an albatross that would be to carry. ]
You can just be Professor Orlov to me, if you like.
[ her smile is audible as she suggests itโit's a bit of a jokeโbut she's sincere, too, just as sincere as she was in her initial curiosity about his thoughts. ]
no subject
In your place, though, I suppose I would want to know more about the world I found myself in. It is a natural impulse to follow.
no subject
I would still like to hear your perspective, Messere, very much so. But I can't shake the sensation that to press you to explain yourself now would be doing you an unkindness. You are...
[ here she fumbles for the right words, skin torn too far and now she's bleeding. ]
I'd prefer to hear it as a friend, not some anthropological venture. Your history is real, and personal, not a, a... teaching exercise. You aren't the only former templar in the world; you don't owe it to me. [ a huff, as she presses thumb to cuticle to stop the bleeding and lifts her eyes to the ceiling. ] Am I even making sense?
I do want to hear what you have to say, Messere. But only when you really want to share it with me, not when you feel it an obligation.
no subject
[A small pause.]
I think perhaps it would be helpful. To try to express my thoughts to someone who simply wants to know without a further agenda beyond the desire to understand.
no subject
I would like that very much. To be of help to you, I mean, and to understand, as much as I am able.
[ it occurs to her to worry that her concern has come off wrong, infantilizing and condescending rather than considerate, but as in the crossroads, vanya's straightforward affect dulls the anxiety. whether her words could be taken amiss or not, he's chosen to receive them according to her intent, and fretting further over them would be pointless.
(that will not stop her fretting entirely. dulled is not dismissed. but it is a start.) ]
As for lessons, my evenings are free to start whenever you wishโeven tonight, should you have the time on such short notice. Otherwise, I will fit my schedule to yours!
places a bow
[And the discussion of the Templar Order ... sometime. Though not the next day, as it may require a bit more preparation than elementary Nevarran.]