[ she pauses, considers, tests his words for hidden meanings or trap doors. after a moment, she hums, and drops her eyes to her hands, picking at a hangnail while she speaks. ]
I would still like to hear your perspective, Messere, very much so. But I can't shake the sensation that to press you to explain yourself now would be doing you an unkindness. You are...
[ here she fumbles for the right words, skin torn too far and now she's bleeding. ]
I'd prefer to hear it as a friend, not some anthropological venture. Your history is real, and personal, not a, a... teaching exercise. You aren't the only former templar in the world; you don't owe it to me. [ a huff, as she presses thumb to cuticle to stop the bleeding and lifts her eyes to the ceiling. ] Am I even making sense?
I do want to hear what you have to say, Messere. But only when you really want to share it with me, not when you feel it an obligation.
Your concern for me is kind, and I take it in the spirit it is meant. But also ... I can want to do a thing and still find it difficult. You do make sense, and your consideration speaks well of you. But it is also ... I think I would like the chance to lay it out, sometime. When I am well-prepared. It is a topic I have given a great deal of thought, but little conversation, overall.
[A small pause.]
I think perhaps it would be helpful. To try to express my thoughts to someone who simply wants to know without a further agenda beyond the desire to understand.
[ "helpful" is the word to use; ness immediately sits taller to hear it, drawn back out of herself at the prospect of being of use. ]
I would like that very much. To be of help to you, I mean, and to understand, as much as I am able.
[ it occurs to her to worry that her concern has come off wrong, infantilizing and condescending rather than considerate, but as in the crossroads, vanya's straightforward affect dulls the anxiety. whether her words could be taken amiss or not, he's chosen to receive them according to her intent, and fretting further over them would be pointless.
(that will not stop her fretting entirely. dulled is not dismissed. but it is a start.) ]
As for lessons, my evenings are free to start whenever you wishβeven tonight, should you have the time on such short notice. Otherwise, I will fit my schedule to yours!
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no subject
I would still like to hear your perspective, Messere, very much so. But I can't shake the sensation that to press you to explain yourself now would be doing you an unkindness. You are...
[ here she fumbles for the right words, skin torn too far and now she's bleeding. ]
I'd prefer to hear it as a friend, not some anthropological venture. Your history is real, and personal, not a, a... teaching exercise. You aren't the only former templar in the world; you don't owe it to me. [ a huff, as she presses thumb to cuticle to stop the bleeding and lifts her eyes to the ceiling. ] Am I even making sense?
I do want to hear what you have to say, Messere. But only when you really want to share it with me, not when you feel it an obligation.
no subject
[A small pause.]
I think perhaps it would be helpful. To try to express my thoughts to someone who simply wants to know without a further agenda beyond the desire to understand.
no subject
I would like that very much. To be of help to you, I mean, and to understand, as much as I am able.
[ it occurs to her to worry that her concern has come off wrong, infantilizing and condescending rather than considerate, but as in the crossroads, vanya's straightforward affect dulls the anxiety. whether her words could be taken amiss or not, he's chosen to receive them according to her intent, and fretting further over them would be pointless.
(that will not stop her fretting entirely. dulled is not dismissed. but it is a start.) ]
As for lessons, my evenings are free to start whenever you wishβeven tonight, should you have the time on such short notice. Otherwise, I will fit my schedule to yours!
places a bow
[And the discussion of the Templar Order ... sometime. Though not the next day, as it may require a bit more preparation than elementary Nevarran.]