[It gives him pause. (At least metaphorically; he doesn't stop helping.)]
I suppose I hadn't thought of it in that light.
[Terrific, now he can be anxious both when talking and when not talking to people.]
Rowntree offered to start training with me. After I got out of the infirmary, with the lyrium. [The lack of it.] It was a surprise [an understatement], though I took him up on it.
but he did tell cedric, who's currently doing a yeoman's job of a straight face, or what'll pass for that while manuevering furniture up stairwell. if he thinks vanya oughta get out more, it's still not the direction he expected, ]
How's that been?
[ rowntree. training, and all the uncharitable reasons cedric can think to offer it. ]
Odd. Useful. I wanted to know how bad it would be, fighting a mage without the ability to Silence them. Not sure what Rowntree wants.
[And now he's the Commander, so there's also that, though it hadn't started with that dynamic in place.]
I'm not sure that it matters. Too useful for me to say no. [A grunt that's mostly exertion, but partly a verbal shrug.] It's not like we chat before or after.
We're not in complete silence, we say hello and goodbye. Discuss what weapons I'll use, decide whether it's best of three that bout, that sort of thing. But he doesn't tell me about his day.
Hello, hand-and-a-half, first one t'points, [ if he wasn't carrying a bed he'd gesture: ka-pow! ] He wants t'know how to fight one of us if he's Silenced, is what, and he figures you're safe ground.
[ it feels painfully obvious. so does the follow-up: and you're just fine with that? ]
I didn't want the first mage I fought after I quit lyrium to be a Venatori. I'd prefer Riftwatch's mages not be helpless against red templars, either, frankly. There are good reasons.
[And Cedric still has time to drop his end of the bed and leave Vanya to Voss, if he wants to.]
[ weak point: vints can always make more, and it wasn't the reds burned herian. there are good reasons, ]
There's some fucking bad ones, too. It were me, [ it has been. offered it to vega, ] I'd want t'be real sure it weren't those. Y'even know how he feels on you? On Barrow, or Mobius, or Keen?
[ of course not. that would require having a conversation. ]
I'm not going to grill every mage in Riftwatch for how they feel about me.
[A brief memory, unbidden, of Tsenka punching him in the jaw.]
Two years ago, he asked me if I was still corresponding with anyone in the Order. He was taking notes; I wouldn't be shocked if he asked everyone. [By which he means templars or former ones.] But he's also never been unfair to me as watch captain, or as Commander, since he took that on.
What specific bad reasons are you worried about?
[Even if Vanya can guess, he's going to make Cedric say it if he plans to.]
Maybe one of them would. I don't think so while we're still fighting Corypheus, but you're right that I can't prove that.
[A beat.]
But I also didn't have to come here at all. I know that's not the same for you, and I'm not blaming you, if your math is different than mine. But I'm here because I think opposing Corypheus is more important than keeping myself perfectly safe. If I felt otherwise, all I had to do was leave and not come back.
[The front wasn't what he'd meant, but he already feels like this disagreement is his fault for letting his guard down a bit in the first place. Clarifying feels like it will make things worse in the moment. Instead, he exhales.]
Rowntree's head of Forces. If he wants me dead, he has options less messy than a sparring session gone wrong. And it's not ... I never sparred with him while I was still taking lyrium. He's not learning that much from me. Come and watch sometime if you want, see if you disagree with my assessment.
[They're prodding at something he's almost surprised to find is sore. On the other hand ... he doesn't think Keen has any reason to worry that he wouldn't have had even if Vanya had said no to Rowntree.]
[ it's a quiet few minutes up. the creak of wood, scuff of boot on stone. cedric drops his end once they’ve drawn into the hall. he isn't done, only needs a break: thumb dug into the meat of his hand, the strange, numb ache of anchor. a sore spot.
at last,]
Fine. [ he'll come see. ] But when Baudin asks y'to dinner, you're saying yes.
[ is that a point for or against friendship? unclear. cedric puts his back to the wall, stretches an arm. it's mostly so he isn't looking at vanya. still cooling down, sure. but, ]
She knows 'bout my folks. Been good, having someone gets it.
[ the life he's lived is leagues closer to vanya and gela than orlesian nobility. but they're nearer in turn: merchants and artisans, an entirely different nevarra to his own. the muddle of his syllables reminds it whenever they slip from trade. ]
[ he ought to ask what. ought to ask why, ought to pry a little, when he's given near an invitation. but it's only been a few minutes. but yeah, something does rise protective for gwen; way it does for gela, and barrow, and keen, ]
Just... you got people, is all.
[ vanya knows that. he's said as much. sometimes you've got to say it, too. ]
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I suppose I hadn't thought of it in that light.
[Terrific, now he can be anxious both when talking and when not talking to people.]
Rowntree offered to start training with me. After I got out of the infirmary, with the lyrium. [The lack of it.] It was a surprise [an understatement], though I took him up on it.
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but he did tell cedric, who's currently doing a yeoman's job of a straight face, or what'll pass for that while manuevering furniture up stairwell. if he thinks vanya oughta get out more, it's still not the direction he expected, ]
How's that been?
[ rowntree. training, and all the uncharitable reasons cedric can think to offer it. ]
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[And now he's the Commander, so there's also that, though it hadn't started with that dynamic in place.]
I'm not sure that it matters. Too useful for me to say no. [A grunt that's mostly exertion, but partly a verbal shrug.] It's not like we chat before or after.
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[ dude what ]
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We're not in complete silence, we say hello and goodbye. Discuss what weapons I'll use, decide whether it's best of three that bout, that sort of thing. But he doesn't tell me about his day.
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Hello, hand-and-a-half, first one t'points, [ if he wasn't carrying a bed he'd gesture: ka-pow! ] He wants t'know how to fight one of us if he's Silenced, is what, and he figures you're safe ground.
[ it feels painfully obvious. so does the follow-up: and you're just fine with that? ]
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I didn't want the first mage I fought after I quit lyrium to be a Venatori. I'd prefer Riftwatch's mages not be helpless against red templars, either, frankly. There are good reasons.
[And Cedric still has time to drop his end of the bed and leave Vanya to Voss, if he wants to.]
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[ weak point: vints can always make more, and it wasn't the reds burned herian. there are good reasons, ]
There's some fucking bad ones, too. It were me, [ it has been. offered it to vega, ] I'd want t'be real sure it weren't those. Y'even know how he feels on you? On Barrow, or Mobius, or Keen?
[ of course not. that would require having a conversation. ]
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I'm not going to grill every mage in Riftwatch for how they feel about me.
[A brief memory, unbidden, of Tsenka punching him in the jaw.]
Two years ago, he asked me if I was still corresponding with anyone in the Order. He was taking notes; I wouldn't be shocked if he asked everyone. [By which he means templars or former ones.] But he's also never been unfair to me as watch captain, or as Commander, since he took that on.
What specific bad reasons are you worried about?
[Even if Vanya can guess, he's going to make Cedric say it if he plans to.]
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[ cedric doesn't. ]
Reckon all his friends have? Don't gotta grill them t'know they talk. Y'certain none of them'd take a shot, if they could?
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[A beat.]
But I also didn't have to come here at all. I know that's not the same for you, and I'm not blaming you, if your math is different than mine. But I'm here because I think opposing Corypheus is more important than keeping myself perfectly safe. If I felt otherwise, all I had to do was leave and not come back.
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[ sharper, stung more bitter than the rest. he trips a little, back over a step. a breath. resets — ]
'M not telling you what t'think. Just reckon you oughta. Crossing blades with someone y'don't know nothing for, that's stupid. Mage or not.
[ this time, it's maybe stupid for more than just him. vanya can throw himself into danger. he's throwing barrow, keen in, too. ]
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Rowntree's head of Forces. If he wants me dead, he has options less messy than a sparring session gone wrong. And it's not ... I never sparred with him while I was still taking lyrium. He's not learning that much from me. Come and watch sometime if you want, see if you disagree with my assessment.
[They're prodding at something he's almost surprised to find is sore. On the other hand ... he doesn't think Keen has any reason to worry that he wouldn't have had even if Vanya had said no to Rowntree.]
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at last,]
Fine. [ he'll come see. ] But when Baudin asks y'to dinner, you're saying yes.
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[A moment.]
Do you know of a particular forthcoming invitation, or just generally.
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[ 'he already said yes', right, and that was before cedric made it an outing ]
It's that book she's reading. You, me, and Gela. Regular.
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[More an invitation than a question, especially under the circumstances.]
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[ is that a point for or against friendship? unclear. cedric puts his back to the wall, stretches an arm. it's mostly so he isn't looking at vanya. still cooling down, sure. but, ]
She knows 'bout my folks. Been good, having someone gets it.
[ the life he's lived is leagues closer to vanya and gela than orlesian nobility. but they're nearer in turn: merchants and artisans, an entirely different nevarra to his own. the muddle of his syllables reminds it whenever they slip from trade. ]
Cares on you a lot.
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[ he ought to ask what. ought to ask why, ought to pry a little, when he's given near an invitation. but it's only been a few minutes. but yeah, something does rise protective for gwen; way it does for gela, and barrow, and keen, ]
Just... you got people, is all.
[ vanya knows that. he's said as much. sometimes you've got to say it, too. ]
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I'm relieved to know you are not having us haul furniture this way just for your health.
[A bit more sincere, he adds,] I do appreciate it.
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